The Universe Knows Best.

So, Wow ... long time, no post.

The other day, a very good friend of mine came in to the shop I am now working at ... Metropolitan Soul (love it!) ... and was near furious with me. He moved to Portland, ME a while ago, and had been relying on this blog in order to see the latest goings-on of our lives (bad idea). He came to Bangor for a visit to my shop and saw that it had been completely emptied out. Wanting to know what the heck was going on, he asked around and found me at Met Soul. But after talking with me for only a few minutes, he learned that the closing of my brick and mortar shop was not the only major change in our lives ... there is oh-so-much-more ... and I have no idea where to begin. So, maybe I won't. Or maybe I will. Or maybe I will just give you all the major details ... and then simply move on from here ... ??? Let's see how this goes, shall we :)

So, yes, I needed to close the shop that I was once so very excited about. And I needed to sell the Studio to a friend of mine. And I got a new job. And I started school. And Meaghan moved out.

Yes, Meaghan moved out. If you know anything about us, you know that the pain of this was nearly unbearable. I will say only a few words about this here ... in "public" ... but will be glad to answer any questions in person. You may remember how she came to us over a year ago, and if you don't ... here is a bit about it. Well, the sum total of this tale is this ... after a year and a half of living with us, she ran away to move back to her biological family and there is little, short of making her our prisoner, that we can do about it. We tried desperately to "save" her from herself ... and from all the destructive, dysfunctional people around her. But in the end, (and lets hope this isn't the end) ... she chose to run to the people who: threw beer bottles in her face, told her she was no good, stole from her, lied to her, rejected her, enabled her, etc. etc. No amount of love and guidance we gave her over the years would ever pull her sights away from the people who gave her so much less. So here we are. Heartbroken, BUT ready to move on. I am sure this topic will come up in future posts ... but we are still trying to wrap our minds around it ... and don't want to say too much out of continued love and respect for Meg. We simply hope she knows that we are always here for her. Always have been. Always will.

The shop? Well, as fun, exciting and as well-received as it was ... I just couldn't get it to pay the bills. The economy and the location worked against it ... big-time. I tried so very hard to hold on to the business, believe me. That is precisely why you have rarely seen blog posts from me here. So much of my energy was spent in keeping that business going ... and there were times I was holding on by my fingernails ... nearly drowning in debt and in chaos. But WOW, the people we met!!! Because of that shop, and the classes we held within, we made some amazing friends! I have no regrets. And because of the way in which I needed to legally close the shop, I also needed to sell Studio 36 to a friend. The Studio has been successful for nearly 2 years, and will only continue to improve under the vision of Ao Arts. I am sure more will be said about this in future posts as well, but I can say with absolute certainty that this move was one of the best I have made in a long time. Ao loves the vision of the Studio and can bring more to it than I think I ever could ... and I still get to be a part of it! Exciting things are happening there!

School? Yes, please. I have been accepted into the Graphic Arts program at EMCC and will start in January. Very exciting stuff!

So, yes, there are plenty of changes in our lives ... and let me say a few words about the hows and whys of some of these changes ...

I truly believe that the Universe/God/Creator is always at work in our lives. And though we may try desperately to hang on to control over things ... the Universe always knows best. In the past year I have desperately held on to creating successful businesses and to "saving" Meaghan. All my energies were expended in those directions. Friends told me to let up a bit. Halis begged me to let go sometimes. Isaac, as resilient as he is, often suffered when my attentions were everywhere but on him. Our finances suffered. Our marriage suffered. My parents worried. And I lost myself. I mean, nearly completely lost myself (here come the tears). So, the Universe stepped in ... big time. The Universe took everything out of my control ... and brought me back to basics. At first, I didn't even notice, I just went through the motions. But friends ... (and oh do I have the BEST friends in the world!) held up mirrors to my life ... and showed me that if I was not going to save myself, and my family, and my marriage, then the Universe was going to do it for me. And it did. And all is as it should be.

I never would have "let go" of the businesses had I not been forced to ... and my life would continue to spiral out of control. And I surely never would have "let go" of Meaghan ... and am beginning to see that perhaps her running is the best for all of us. She needs to live out her own life journey ... she needs some "tough love" ... and perhaps the best way to love her is to let her (no matter how big a lump I have in my throat when I type this) ... go. We can no longer be her "jailers" and that is exactly how she saw us and treated us. Though our hearts are heavy, there is a peace in this household that has not been here since she came to live with us. See, she never wanted to be here. She hoped to one day want to be ... but it never happened. She had too many people in her ear, enticing her back to her previous lifestyle, and working against all our efforts. Halis, Isaac and I love Meaghan dearly ... and always will. But it is clear that we can no longer lose sight of ourselves and the health and well-being of our family of three in order to "save" someone who wants no part of it. Toward the end of her time here, Isaac asked me, "Mama, why does Meaghan hate me so much when I love her so much?". I answered his question as best as I could ... telling him how she has a hard time with love ... how she resorts to anger ... etc. But no matter what I said, the truth was, I was allowing my son to live in a toxic environment because I wanted desperately to improve Meg's life ... while all the while she was resisting and hating me for it ... and showing Isaac manipulative, destructive behaviors that we have always sought to protect him from. And I would have kept doing it! But the Universe decided otherwise. And I am beginning to "get it". I am hoping that her decision to leave offers her the best. I am worried and doubtful, of course. But I need to trust the Universe. She is a resilient person ... and we believe in her ability to eventually do what is best for her. We just pray she doesn't hurt too much in the process.

Anyway, this post turned out much longer than I had hoped ... but this is some heavy stuff ... and I have only offered the most brief details. Thank you for coming this far in your reading of it ;)

So, the posts will continue. There is more time in my life to come back to blogging ... sharing ... learning ... etc. And now, although my Portland friend should certainly CALL ME more to find out what is going on in my life ... I will be sure to update him through this medium as well.

Thank you ALL for your friendships, your support, your love, your guidance ... and for just being there! This past year has been a tough one ... BUT I would not trade it for anything! The lessons learned, the people we met, the experiences we have had have all been so worth it. And we feel good about knowing that for the time we had her, Meaghan was safe & well-loved ... not just by us, but by all of you. Thank you.

MUCH LOVE,

Jodi

P.S. Please continue to send Meg your love and well-wishes.

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Getting My Gypsy On.

I don't know how I lived without Ao for so long. She is an extraordinary woman ... who makes me feel that all my quirky and seemingly strange interests are actually wonderful and worthy of fully participating in.

She, like me, has a thing for pirates, zombies, the ocean, cephalopods, dancing when the mood strikes her, flashy make-up, gypsies, art in all of its forms, and basically putting herself "out there". She lives HERSELF. She is the me that I long to be.

Recently, she has joined us at Studio 36 as our "in-house" make-up artist. And we couldn't be happier about it. She offers make-up, hair and outfitting for our clients. But that's far from all she does. She leads a fantastic belly dance troupe ... she threads ... she weaves magical goodness into hair ... and she is a great photographer. (There is more, but you likely wouldn't believe me!).

So, since she has joined us, I have been UN-patiently waiting for my first appointment with her ... to transform me into some part of my inner self ... giving her full control to do as she wished .... and it looked a little something like this ...

(Thank you Bex Hickman for documenting the progress!)

And here are some of the results ...

I couldn't be happier with them. (Though there are more to show later). I see ME in these photos. An aspect of me. And I want to see more. So, I plan on many, many appointments with Ao. She amazes me.

As for the last picture, I knew that I wanted a tearful Gypsy look ... so I asked her to help create one. Little did she know that my Pepere (a hero of my life) once gave me a large framed piece of art - of a gypsy woman ... looking off ... and crying. I always wondered what she was crying about. And in order to create that somber look, I remembered that anonymous gypsy woman ... then my Pepere who shared her with me ... and thus, my sadness was real (I miss him so much) ... and well captured.

Thank you Miss Ao. Glad to have you on-board ... and glad to have your inspiration all around me.

Please drop in to see her work! Or contact her for an appointment ... (207)370-8701.

Love,

Jodi

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First Snow Storm of the Season.

Snow has been a bit problematic for me for the past four years --- ever since I experienced a somewhat traumatic event that took place during a Nor'easter in late 2006. Slowly but surely I am learning to make peace with snow ... and to even appreciate it again as I did when I was a child (snowball throwing never gets old).

I have a child that absolutely loves snow. And despite his Haitian roots ... he also loves to swim in rivers and lakes just after the ice has broken. This kid loves the cold and hates the heat. Weird, I know. (I guess he was fated to live in Maine!) Because of this aversion to summer heat, I am more apt to get him to play outside in the cold winter weather --- which means I had better make peace with it.

And so --- I grab my camera --- as shooting pics of our daily life always gives me solace.

These pictures are not award-winning art --- but they are my therapy. Toting a camera while venturing around the snowy property --- finding the beauty in the snow --- enjoying my son and his dog as they kick the snow around --- all of this will heal the anxiety I feel when I am surrounded by mountains of Maine snow.

More snow-filled pictures to follow --- as weather permits :)

Love,

Jodi

PS. What do you enjoy about the snow?

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Cloud 9.

I am on Cloud 9. Seriously. Whatever "bliss" is ... I am in it. I am giddy all over my body to the point where I am shaking as I type this ... and I just finished crying tears of joy. Now, once you hear what has caused me such elation ... please don't think me gluttonous or absurd. I am still very well aware of the pains that Haiti is enduring ... and will continue to do all I can for the people I love in Haiti, as well as all the Haitian people. But, I cannot help but to be so excited at the possibility of a certain something that I just discovered ... a treat that I am definitely going to allow myself ... and my family.

Ok --- I just discovered that the world of Harry Potter has now been "brought to life" by the genius of Universal Studios in Orlando. Hogwarts is no longer an imaginary castle ... it is now as real as it will ever be. And when I saw the videos about it ... I shook with joy. My greatest fantasy has been brought to life! (Okay, I have a few other fantasies, some of which include Orlando Bloom in his pirate attire --- but that is not going to happen --- except when Halis does a little "role-playing' for me). But this fantasy is now a reality and I am blown away! I am a faithful Harry Potter fan to the maximum ... and am one of those people who has uttered the words ... "Oh, how I wish Hogwarts was a real place that I could visit." From my lips to God's ears :)

So, you have GOT TO see this place. Go to the site, watch the videos, the interviews about the park with the characters of the movies, etc. Even a non-Harry Potter fan will have to be amazed at the work that has gone into this. AMAZING!!!

http://www.universalorlando.com/HarryPotter/

So, I am going to save my pennies ... get busy with some portrait gigs, craft away for my Etsy store, etc ... all to help me get to my personal "Cloud 9" ... and when I get there, I will be so excited to do the following:

1. Find & purchase the perfect wand for me at Ollivander's.

2. Enjoy some Butterbear at Hogmeads with the family.

3. Seek the perfect joke gift at Zonko's Joke Shop.

4. Visit Hagrid's Hut to take a ride on his Hippogriff.

5. Try on some school uniforms at Dervish and Bangles.

6. Check out some Death Eater masks and other "confiscated goods" at Filch's Emporium.

7. Get my fix of Chocolate Frogs at HoneyDukes.

8. Send some Owl Posts from the authentic Owl Post Office --- to some very lucky friends!

9. Stroll the halls of Hogwarts! (Where I may pass out from the excitement of it all).

10. And MAYBE take a dragon ride on the "Dueling Dragons".

Seriously guys ... I cannot even begin to explain to you how excited I am at the possibility of doing all these things ... while walking through the streets of this amazing replica of Harry Potter's world. Me ... and every adolescent (and adult trying to relive their adolescence) in the World!

Ok --- so, there it is. I am a total dork. But a youthful ... easily excitable ... fun-loving dork. And frankly, my son thinks he has the coolest Mom in the world because of it. Hopefully, sometime this fall, we will afford to make my fantasy come true ... that I shall purchase my very own wand at Ollivander's before heading into Hogwarts for some *magic*. Until then, we will be working on our British accents, sewing up some required Hogwarts uniforms, and practising some of our spells ... all to create the most authentic Harry Potter experience possible. I think I shall go as Molly Weasley, Isaac as Harry (or Dobby the House Elf), Halis as Snape (my fave character).

Wow - this is SO WAY BEYOND Awesome.

Any other 30-somethings out there who are on Cloud 9 over a Harry Potter theme park???

Love,

Jodi

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Merry Christmas!

Thanks to Daddy for taking this pic with his Blackberry .... after Isaac said, "Daddy, Can you please take a pic of me loving Mama?". That's my boy :)

MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL!

xoxo,

Jodi & Family

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The Studio.

Have you heard --- through my Twitter or Facebook --- that I am leasing an incredible property in downtown Bangor to begin my own photography studio? I am both elated and sick to my stomach. This is the big time. I had only put my want for a studio space out into the Universe on Wednesday ... and by Friday it came to me and bonked me on the head (with the help of a close friend). It is more ideal than I could even try to express here and the following pics are not going to do it justice what-so-ever. Let me just tell you that as I looked around the place ... I cried ... as it was as if it was built just for me. Seriously.

I brought along two friends with me ... one to keep me grounded ... and the other to push me forward. They were a perfect blend ... and both agreed that this space exuded "Jodi".

So ... here are the pics ... please try to imagine the space as a whole ... and without the ladders, mops, paint buckets, etc. Please also try to imagine that I can take much better pics than these ... and was just snapping away very quickly in order to show my husband ...

There are actually two more rooms that are not shown here. And of course ... the store front. I will try to take better pics asap. Until then, I am busy coming up with a name, filing all business paperwork, and getting my gear in order. (Also need to buy furniture, etc...etc...) Busy days ahead!

Thanks to so many of you for being so encouraging of my new venture. xoxo

Love,

Jodi

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For Halis. And You.

Dave Matthews is constantly writing up songs that speak to me or for me. I even told him so once. I met him. I chatted with him and even shared some coffee. Its true. I wish I could say that we are friends ... but that chat was our sole connection. At least so far :) And it was wonderful.

Again - his new album speaks to me. I can't imagine a song written by him that wouldn't. Even Isaac is tuned in to Dave (though his favorite song is Gravedigger - he even loves the video ... which is a whole other story ... as he came to love this song after attending his first funeral and learning about death from Mommy ... its actually a healthy thing ... I swear).

Well - I found this video today (don't know why it took me so long) and realized that it makes me feel happy ... like ... I want to sing it out loud to Halis. It is a love song to be sure ... but it is also greater than that ... the video shows something more ... and I love it ... ENJOY:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bi4DZjiZEVo

(I wish I could embed it, but YouTube won't let me ... brats).

Enjoy the song, video and your weekend. And remember, leave a comment on any post from this week (my birthday week!) and you will be entered into a giveaway for a Bday gift from me.

Love,
Jodi

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Wordless Wednesday : My Birthday Walk.

Thank you my men ... for an awesome birthday! I love you both so very much. And Daddy, you have such original thoughts ;)

Love,
Jodi/Mama

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A Surprise Birthday Treat.

Among my top ten favorite joys in the world is a visit with my Brother. And for my Birthday this year (which isn't until Wednesday the 14th), my Brother surprised me with a visit this past weekend. It was very nice, low-key, with perfect weather and a lovely meal at the Sea Dog. But as much as I enjoyed my Brother, I think that my son enjoyed him even more. In fact, I would venture to say that hanging with Uncle Jamie is among Isaac's top five favorite joys in the world. And I am so glad.

This week, I will be so bold as to celebrate the conclusion of my 36th year with a week long blog party. Please leave a comment on each post, all week long, and you may receive a "Happy Jodi's Birthday" gift! Each comment (one per day) will be collected and entered into the drawing. Winner will be announced on Sunday, October 18th. Thanks for helping me celebrate & good luck!

Love,

Jodi

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Mama Got a New Do :)

And I LOVE it. Kuddos to Kelli at Mastercuts in Bangor, ME. (Isaac likes it too :)

Love,

Jodi

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND EVERYONE!

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Idle Hands Do Something With the Devil ... I think. I Just Can't Remember What.

Okay ... so my blogging schedule has been a little "whacked" lately ... I know. I am trying hard to stick to the schedule that I had previously proposed. But alas, I have never been one for structure ... so please give me some time.

Here is what has been consuming my attention lately ...

* Creating these buttons to sell at Gabe's Benefit Party. (They are so super cute in person and can be purchased in my shop as well.)

* Reading this book in every quiet moment I can find. Just finished it tonight and am begging for the next installment in this fantasy series.

* Photographing in this most gorgeous September weather. This being my new fave pic.

* Learning about all the really cool things I can do with my new IPhone. Soon it will be doing my laundry - I swear.

* Getting past some ridiculous human drama in my life. Only caring about all the kids involved. Trying to stay away from the adults who make the poor decisions that these kids must cope with --- and spending as much quality time with said kids as possible.

* Driving my son to all his various fall activities ... and enjoying seeing him grow in so many new ways. Swimming, basketball and science classes. He does so well with all of them ... and brings tears to his Mama's eyes because he is so sweet and engaged with his teachers. coaches and classmates.

* Reconstructing the house so that we can get more bedrooms out of it (with excellent work by my industrious husband). More bedrooms for more kids, that is! If you haven't already heard, we are getting ready for adoption #2. Very exciting! (More details later).

* Wrapping up our fall 2009 Haitian Roots Fundraising Campaign. Still time to send a donation though!

* Crafting for the upcoming holiday season. Getting ready to set up at some upcoming craft fairs ... as well as building up stock in the shop.

* Helping a friend to move in to her new apartment.

* Sewing a Halloween costume for my boy. Pics to follow.

* and oh so much more ...

Life is good. But idle hands, well they aren't so good for anybody. So I do what I can to keep extra busy. What about you? What are you up to these days?

Love,

Jodi

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I Dream of Sharks.

This morning, as my husband woke me for the day with a kiss and a cuddle, I slowly opened my eyes, looked up at him with a smile and said, "Hey babe ........ I got to see sharks." With a sweet, knowing grin he replied,"That is great babe." Just about every morning that he wakes me, I tell him a line or two about the dream I was just in the midst of having. And today's dream was a favorite. I got to see sharks.

I have always been absolutely fascinated by sharks. My earliest memories of my childhood library was of searching out the shark books --- then sneaking off to a corner with a pile of them to read in secret. My Mom has always had a major phobia of sharks, the ocean, and nearly anything water related. So, to read about sharks with admiration was a very guilty pleasure. I enjoyed reading about their breeding habits, the crushing power of their jaws, the crazy contents that have been found in their stomachs, etc. I knew that one day I would become a Marine Biologist and would one day swim among these animals. And though my love for sharks waned a bit when I discovered Killer Whales, they were always in my thoughts.

At 18, I took scuba diving lessons. I was fresh out of high school and not yet committed to college, so I took other steps to prepare me for Marine Biology and my future adventures with sharks. I did wonderfully in my scuba classes. I aced every underwater exercise and written exam. However, it was those very sharks that I loved and admired that kept me from completing my open water training. I tried. And to be fair, perhaps my head cold was to blame ... but when we took the boat out to open water to complete our underwater exercises in the bitter cold Atlantic ... I failed. Though I did have a sinus issue that kept me from being able to go down as deep underwater as my classmates (pressure issues) ... I also had the voice of my mother in my head ... who that very morning had told me that she hoped I would fail so that I wouldn't get killed by sharks while diving in the future. And that voice was LOUD. So, when my instructor told me to swim to shore to take some Sudafed so that I could try again later ... all I could think about was those sharks that might possibly be swimming just underneath me --- waiting to snatch me as I swam back to shore. Moms' words have tons of power. I never did try again. That was my last diving experience ... and my greatest regret.

I still think of sharks often ... with a mix of admiration and fear. I have continued to read about them over the years and try never to miss a Discovery Channel Shark Week. Then one day, out of the blue, I received an e-mail from the Humane Society of America titled "Help End Brutal Shark Killing in Maine". As I read it, I discovered that there would be a Downeast Maine Shark Tournament at the Camp Ellis Pier in Saco, Maine on August 28-29. The Humane Society wanted me to protest such an event ... but I was too fascinated by the prospect of seeing sharks up close ... and wanted to take the family out to watch these fisherman bring their trophy sharks up to the pier. Sure, killing sharks is not ideal to me. But my curiosity was too hard to resist and Halis, Isaac and I planned to attend (I am sure this is not what the HSUS had in mind when it sent me that e-mail). But --- sadly --- we were unable to attend after all. Halis had conflicting plans and I was not about to hang out on an ocean pier with a 4-year old by myself (3 hours from home to boot). Needless to say perhaps, but it really bothered me that I couldn't go. I am hoping for next year ... and I am telling myself that sharks are fish ... I eat fish ... so seeing dead sharks won't trouble me anymore than seeing the dead Salmon on my dinner plate.

This past weekend I had on opportunity to visit Belfast, Maine again (just 45 min from home). My Dad, Isaac and I went to the working pier there with the intention of collecting some seashells. BUT the ocean called to me ... as it usually does ... so - dressed in blue jeans and a fairly "dressy" top ... I dove right into the water and swam among the boats pictured in the above photo. Dad and Isaac stayed on shore while I swam, floated and chatted with seagulls perched upon various boats and rocks. Oh how I loved it. And then just as I was beginning to feel a bit more adventurous ... I thought of that LOUD voice again ... the voice of my mother ... and I thought of those sharks that she swears are always in waiting to eat me. I tried to fight that voice. I swear I did. But it is powerful ... and I quickly (and reluctantly) swam back to shore ... KNOWING that one day I would defeat that voice. One day I will frolic in the ocean for as long as I want ... without worry or fear ... without defeating voices. I am almost as sure that one day I will also finish my open water scuba exam. Halis believes it at least.

Perhaps my next underwater adventure will be to go out on one of these Maine shark cage trips. I'll be sure to bring lots of Klonopin and maybe a dose or two of Valium. That should keep Mom's voice away.

Until then, I dream of sharks. Happily.

Love,

Jodi

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Self Portrait.

Hi Friends!

Taken at the Bangor State Fair ... on my favorite ride :)

Love,

Jodi

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Everything Old is New Again.

I took my first photography class in high school (with some cute guy sitting behind me who went by the name Halis). This was back in 1990 ... and I had a Pentax K1000 that my parents bought used from a former semi-professional photographer. And just like when they bought me my first car ... I was hoping for more (did someone just say spoiled?). But - just like my first car - a 1973 Dodge Dart Special Edition with a slant 6 engine - my Pentax was a work horse camera that took lots of abuse and refused to die. Though they both weren't my first choices ... as an adult, I want them both back. Lord knows what I did to that poor camera, but the car I sold for $400 back in 1992 to a kid heading for college in Maine... and last I knew it was still alive and kicking. But I did get the camera back (sort of) ...

I got a great deal on this used Pentax k1000 from my friend at Bangor Photo. Come to find out, it was used by Bangor High School in their photography class (funny!). I took it out for a test drive this week and find that in order to get the right look for my photos, I need to overexpose them a bit. I bought my second roll of film today in order to do just that. But my first roll did get me one pic that I am in love with ...

I love the grain in this pic. I love how his eyes are true blue and one is entirely in focus, while there is enough depth of field to keep the rest of him a bit blurred. I love the way his body is positioned. I love the color. I just *love* it. I am a sucker for that vintage look. Though I absolutely love the versatility of digital photography, I also *heart* film, and want to make the best of both worlds. And I guarantee you that my $60 Pentax will outlast my $3,000 Nikon. "They just don't make things like they used to."

Enjoy your day.

Love,

Jodi

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If I Had a Genie ...

... one of my wishes would be spent on buying this old church in Orono:


I have always wanted to live in an old church. Always. I totally envision my bedroom in the upper choir section ... looking down on the kitchen/living room/playroom, etc. And the fact that this one is currently for sale, and within a couple miles of my current home, AND is a former Catholic church filled with the most gorgeous stained glass windows ... well, it just makes me drool.

And it could all be mine, for just $500,000 or the granting of one wish from a generous genie.

Can't you just see it? When you enter my foyer, you can bless yourself with the holy water by the doors. And before you sit down to watch my big screen tv resting atop the altar ... you can genuflect. Okay, that is sacrilegious, I'm sorry. I shouldn't make fun, because the fact is that I have the ultimate respect for churches ... their history ... the lives that have been changed within their walls ... through baptism, marriage, death, etc. ... the myriad of prayers that have been spoken and unspoken within their walls. It all amazes and humbles me. And I would feel blessed beyond imagining if I could make my home within one. Truly.

So, if you have not used up the three wishes granted by your genie, could you please spare one for me? To make my dream come true? Or just send cash. Thanks.

Love,
Jodi

P.S. fyi: my son was watching Alladin as I typed this post.

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WebCam & Lightroom.

Beware: The following photo is slightly scary. It depicts a woman who has stayed up WAY past her bedtime ... trying to read e-books on how to use her Photoshop Lightroom program. Lots of coffee and brain straining is going on during this attempt at understanding. She would like to think that her webcam (which she barely knows how to use) gives a distorted view of her nose ... but she is not so sure about this. At least her bling gives the photo a bit of shine. Anyway ... here she is ... please don't judge too harshly ... she tried to play mini-golf in the rain today and her hair never recovered ...

Love,
Jodi
(aka PhotoShop Lightroom Ignoramous)

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Then and Now.

1992 or so ...Yesterday ...

I am so thankful.

Love,

Jodi

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What I've Been Up to Lately:

1. Photographing lupines.

2. Anticipating this new Disney Movie: The Princess and the Frog ... the first Disney movie to feature a "black" princess and prince. WAY over due.

3. Thinking of ways to cut up these amazing vintage goodwill finds in order to make magnets and pins for my shop: (and maybe frame a few gorgeous illustrations) ...


4. Working on a photography project with my friend Tom Grogan. Very "hush-hush" right now, but I can't wait to begin telling folks. Very exciting stuff.

5. Trading goodies on Etsy with fellow artisans. Here are my latest scores:

needle felting starter kit by Moondog Farm

custom made ball field (Fenway shown) for imaginative play

6. Attending area open mike nights ... and enjoying all the local talent.

7. Getting together with friends for drinks, laughs and deep conversation.

8. Thrifting, thrifting, thrifting ...

9. Ignoring housework & enjoying the sun instead.

I hope you all are enjoying yourselves as well!

Lots of Love,

Jodi

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Flying --- Forever.

For some reason - it seems I have taken a brief, unintended vacation from this blog. I am sorry to those of you who have been checking in to see what is happening in our lives ... with my Dad, the goats, Isaac's baseball, etc. I can tell you that all is well. Dad is back to work - with the help of my husband who will be driving the catering truck for him until he is able to do so on his own. The goats are just so much fun - and I hope to write more about them tomorrow - with more sweet pics. As for Isaac's baseball, I have taken to assisting the coach (for various reasons) and we are all having a great time --- though I feel fairly certain that this is not Isaac's game.

Anyway - I have got to tell you about this incredible dream I had last night. Maybe I feel the need to tell it so that I can remember it later --- to savor it and try to relive it --- or maybe it is because I see the relevance of it to my life and maybe yours as well. Lately, I have been having these incredibly intense dreams. So intense that I can hear them, smell them, and feel every touch within them. It has been both wonderful and horrible. Some dreams have had me running for my life, where my heart beat is so intense and sweat is dripping off my forehead -- both in my dream and once I awake from it. But last night --- oh, last night's dream is my favorite. Maybe my favorite of all time. I used to have these dreams as a child. But not since. And this one felt so good that I wouldn't mind living in it forever (except that I might miss a few loved ones). This dream did however take a turn for the worse in the end --- but I'd still live in it --- as I know that the ending is truly up to me and could easily be changed so that it remained *magical*.

Last night, I was flying. My arms were my wings. And I flew everywhere ... from over the brilliant lush woods of Northern Maine ... to over the bustling cafes of Paris, France. I flew everywhere my heart desired ... and I looked down upon some of the most glorious scenes. It felt heavenly. I could feel the rush of the wind in my hair .. I could smell the most wonderful smells waft up from wherever I was flying over ... and my arms and legs felt as free as they do while swimming in water. And perhaps that is the greatest feeling I felt while dreaming --- freedom. Total and absolute freedom. I was flying ... without wings ... and flying to wherever I felt a desire to be --- or to see.

I used to have this dream often in my childhood. Of course, my knowledge of geography was simple ... so I basically flew over my house and neighborhood. But it still felt so good. However, unlike my childhood dreams, last night's dream took a turn for the worse ...

Everywhere I flew people pointed up to me in awe --- in awe that a person could fly. Some waved, some smiled, some stood there with their jaws open wide in disbelief. But some were angry. Angry that I was flying and they were not. That is how the trouble began. Some people called their local authorities and complained about this flying woman. The authorities agreed with them that this flying woman needed to stop... for the good of all who could not fly. She needed to be captured. It wasn't right for me to have an ability that they did not. It wasn't right that I could fly everywhere --- as I might be act as a spy, etc. So, they pursued me ... in every town and every country. And because I needed to come down to land every so often in order to regain the energy I needed to fly ... I found myself having to run from people who were looking to capture me ... to confine me.

In the end, while running through some grass fields ... dogs and armed men at my heels ... I found a farmer who was willing to take me in without reporting me to the authorities. He lived in a run-down old house in desperate need of repair.... with a nearby barn also in bad shape. He would keep me safe in exchange for my working in his home and acting as his wife. The rules were that in exchange for his silence, I could no longer fly. And though this pained me so much, I agreed. I thought that at least -- with this arrangement --- I might have a later chance of flying again. But if I were captured, there would be no chance I would ever fly again. So, our deal was struck ... and I discontinued my flying. It was shortly after that - that I woke up. But I didn't wake up sad. In fact, I awoke with an ear to ear smile on my face. All in all - the dream was delicious. Had I found a way to escape the jealous mobs --- without seeking safety that would only entrap me --- I could have flown for the rest of my life.

And believe me, the metaphors inherent in this dream do not escape me for a moment. I see the connection that this dream has to my life right now. That is part of the beauty of it all. I see the connection and can thus make the needed changes in my life that will allow me to soar again. Dreams are so much more than fantasy ... they are most certainly windows into our subconscious. When our dreams receive the attention they deserve, they can tell us so much about what we need. Apparently --- I need to fly --- to soar --- without a safety net --- and without worry of what others are thinking or feeling. I will. Both in my dreams and in life itself.

I hope you will too. I promise not to stop you. I will wave and smile as you soar by ... knowing that we all can fly if we allow ourselves ... and one another.

Love,
Jodi

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Nothing Left to Give : Temporarily

I am feeling totally tapped out right now (thus the above photo). Sure, lots of wonderful things are going on our our lives, in my photography, in my parenting, in my marriage, and in my creativity ... BUT all that is taking a backseat (like, a backseat on the back of a very long bus) because my family has been experiencing some highly emotional "stuff" right now. Though I know in my heart that it is all temporary, it doesn't stop me from feeling the pain of it all in the here and now.

For starters, my Daddy goes in for open heart surgery tomorrow at 5am. And though I know in my brain that all will go well ... my heart is aching at the mere thought of losing my Daddy ... no matter how slim the possibility may be. Secondly, my brother - whom I love so dearly that it hurts - is going through some pain right now that I would do anything to take away from him. He is private about this, so I will not explain here. But I think of him every minute of the day and wonder what wisdom I can impart that would miraculously take his pain away ... to no avail. Then, my sister - the woman who means more to me than she will ever know - is also experiencing some turmoil in her life that - although I know the outcome of it will be far more wonderful than she can see right now - her tears are breaking my heart. And I again, seek wisdom to help her through this (though she has always been far wiser than me). Next, (as if this weren't enough) my husband is on the brink of losing his job at a time when the economy is at its worst. Not a good feeling. We know we will get by ... and in fact, we welcome some change, but change takes getting used to ... and the "man of the house" feels much pressure and anxiety over how to take care of his family under these circumstances. Oh and then there is my best friend who is has been given a medical diagnosis that is freaking her out ... and is awaiting more tests to fully diagnosis her condition. I wait with her and pray for the best.

So, there is alot going on around here. And though I know that we - as a family - will all get through this together - I feel "tapped out" right now. I want to change everyone's pain, calm their fears, save them from themselves (in some cases), and wave a magical wand to release all suffering. BUT, I totally recognize that walking through suffering and pain, brings us closer to our greatest selves, our greatest joys ... and closer to our soul's purpose. So, it must be what it must be. And the doors that will open at the end of my loved ones' journeys through their pains will be more miraculous than I could ever dream. I know - I have been there. And I have witnessed the beauty of the transformations of others as well. So, I trust. Or, I try to ... except when I want to kick the asses of those who have recently wronged both my brother and my sister ... but hey, I am no Thich Nhat Han.

I hope you recognize that this post is not a pity party for me - or anyone else. Just a telling of the TEMPORARY dark areas that we have found ourselves in .... so that I can later tell you of the beauty and light that comes of it all in the near future. And I suppose this post also serves as an explanation of why my posts have been so erratic these days and will likely continue to be for a little while.

I thank you all for your prayers, your friendships, and your inspirations. You are amazing gifts to me, and I hope I have given you some beauty in return.

In hope and love,

Jodi

P.S. Shameless promotion: the above photo is available in my shop: http://www.jlrphotography.etsy.com.

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